Jazz Guy Has Little Hat And Everything

Vol 62: Issue 17
The post Jazz Guy Has Little Hat And Everything appeared first on The Onion.
Read more

Farmer Buys Guardian Dog To Protect Livestock From RFK Jr.

Vol 62: Issue 17
ROLAND, AR—Expressing frustration that the rabid Cabinet member had completely decimated the cattle inventory, local farmer Lindon Trelby told reporters he purchased a guard...
Read more

Good Spatula Dirty

Vol 62: Issue 17
The post Good Spatula Dirty appeared first on The Onion.
Read more

DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment

Vol 62: Issue 17
WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing...
Read more

JD Vance Still Waiting For Secret Service To Retrieve Him From Secure Hiding Area

Vol 62: Issue 17
The post JD Vance Still Waiting For Secret Service To Retrieve Him From Secure Hiding Area appeared first on The Onion.
Read more

Trump Claims Correspondents’ Dinner Shooting Reinforces Need To End Journalism

Vol 62: Issue 17
WASHINGTON—Declaring that the frightening incident underscored a point he had been making for many years, President Donald Trump claimed Monday that the shooting at...
Read more

Report: You Probably Due To Experience Big Life Tragedy Soon

Vol 62: Issue 17
LEXINGTON, KY—Researchers at the University of Kentucky published a study Monday confirming that you should brace yourself for a massive personal disaster, because you...
Read more

Political Profile: Kash Patel

Vol 62: Issue 17
Kash Patel’s time as FBI director has been plagued by accusations of chaotic behavior, binge drinking, and unexplained absences. The Onion shares everything you...
Read more

Phone, Porn Addictions Converging Nicely

Vol 62: Issue 17
The post Phone, Porn Addictions Converging Nicely appeared first on The Onion.
Read more
123Page 3 of 3

Latest article

Despite own ties, Stitt criticizes dark money groups, calls for release of mansion donor...

Following a series of News 4 investigations into dark money groups trying to influence Oklahoma elections, Gov. Kevin Stitt is calling for more transparency—and...

Former CIA officer allegedly defrauded US by lying about his credentials: Complaint

The former government officer, David Rush, has been charged with theft of public money, according to a complaint filed in the Eastern District of Virginia. 

Newsom seeks to shield California elections from federal interference

Gov. Gavin Newsom has signed legislation that aims to shield California elections from federal interference ahead of the state's primary next week