Everyone In Conversation Under Different Impression As To Which Horrific News Being Discussed

HENDERSON, NV—Solemnly nodding in agreement as they took turns speaking, each person engaged in an intense dinner conversation at a local restaurant Tuesday was...

Aaron Petrov

Aaron Petrov, 75, died suddenly Saturday at a very confusing murder mystery party. The post Aaron Petrov appeared first on The Onion.

Tara Knox and Sean Blackwell

Tara Knox and Sean Blackwell: The civil union brings Blackwell’s lifetime dating record to 3-14-1. The post Tara Knox and Sean Blackwell appeared first on...

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Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids

The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the...

Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

BOONE, NC—Noting that the troubling signs of a toxic dynamic had become too numerous to ignore, area woman Kara Vasques expressed concern Wednesday that...

Elon Musk Hits Up Text Thread To See If Any Of His 13 Kids...

STARBASE, TX—Firing off dozens of messages in less than a minute at 2:30 a.m., Elon Musk reportedly hit up a text thread Wednesday to...