Trump Promises To Take $5,000 From Every American If Democrats Win Midterm

Politics
The post Trump Promises To Take $5,000 From Every American If Democrats Win Midterm appeared first on The Onion.
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Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities

Politics
WASHINGTON—Saying the tragic events of 25 years ago were just the beginning in the nation’s blue states, President Donald Trump claimed Thursday that 9/11...
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Trump Claims He Was Falling Man

Politics
WASHINGTON—Saying America could frankly be more grateful for the enduring image he provided, President Donald Trump claimed Wednesday that he was the previously unidentified Falling...
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Beef Tallow Homunculus  Escapes From HHS Building

Politics
WASHINGTON—Revealing that the humanoid abomination seemed to have used the lubrication from its own body to slip through the bars of its enclosure, officials...
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‘Wait and see’: House Rules Committee meets with Rep. Danny Williams about investigation

Politics
Members of the House Rules Committee met privately for more than eight hours today about the “serious allegations” of “improper behavior” that surfaced against...
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Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Slumps Over In Saddle Of Runaway Horse

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WASHINGTON—Setting off a fresh wave of scrutiny over the commander-in-chief’s physical condition, speculations regarding President Donald Trump’s health swirled Tuesday after he slumped over...
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Agriculture Dept. Puts Trump’s Face On Soybeans

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The post Agriculture Dept. Puts Trump’s Face On Soybeans appeared first on The Onion.
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White House files another SCOTUS emergency appeal over USPS mail ballot rules

Politics
The judge handling the legal battle over new U.S. Postal Service mail ballot rules last week extended her block of the rules for the November midterms.
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Energy Secretary says ‘there may not be’ a nuclear agreement with Iran

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Energy Secretary Chris Wright told ABC News' "This Week" that a nuclear agreement with Iran may not come to fruition after months of war with the country.
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Utah Gov. Cox: Americans ‘desperate for something better’ amid polarization

Politics
Gov. Spencer Cox spoke with ABC News’ Martha Raddatz one year after Charlie Kirk’s assassination in Utah.
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Oklahoma State Cowboys make history in win against No. 6 ranked Oregon

The Oklahoma State Cowboys defeated the No. 6 ranked Oregon Ducks in a historic win Saturday afternoon. The Pokes end the longest-active losing streak...

Saudi Arabia faces mounting threats from Iran and its allies

A lightning advance by Houthi rebels threatens a crucial Red Sea shipping route. Drone attacks blamed on Iraqi militias have forced the closure of...

Top AI leaders propose slowing down AI development

Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei on Saturday called for a slowdown in the development of artificial intelligence — a stunning admission that the rapidly accelerating...