Thing Left By Previous Tenant Still In Corner
The post Thing Left By Previous Tenant Still In Corner appeared first on The Onion.
British Man Desperately Trying To Get Out Of Panel Show Duty
LONDON—Pinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a long weary sigh after he opened a letter summoning him to BBC headquarters, British man...
Hospital Decides Cancer-Sniffing Leopard More Trouble Than It’s Worth
CLEVELAND—Saying the costs had begun to outweigh the benefits, administrators at the Cleveland Clinic confirmed Tuesday that they had decided to discontinue their use...
Tiger Woods’ Liver Photographed Crawling Out Of Golfer After Crash
JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Dazed and battered as it dragged itself to safety, the liver belonging to Tiger Woods was photographed crawling out of the legendary...
Rusty TSA Agent Sticks Hand Into Wrong Cavity
The post Rusty TSA Agent Sticks Hand Into Wrong Cavity appeared first on The Onion.
Even Trump Unsure How Rambling Speech On Iran Veered Off Into Ranking The ‘Pirates...
WASHINGTON—As he struggled to remember how his remarks on sending more troops to the Middle East had digressed into a tangent on the blockbuster...
Study: Children Who Play Violent Video Games More Likely To Say ‘That’s Goro’ When...
BOSTON—In startling new research connecting gaming habits with verbal behavior, a Boston College study published Monday found that young children who played violent video...
Victor Wembanyama Issued Technical For Punching Jumbotron
The post Victor Wembanyama Issued Technical For Punching Jumbotron appeared first on The Onion.
Jesus Clarifies Return Will Be Strictly Limited To Carpentry Business
JERUSALEM—In an effort to soften the blow for a human race eagerly awaiting His glorious arrival, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, clarified Monday...
Frog A Little Turned On By Avocado
The post Frog A Little Turned On By Avocado appeared first on The Onion.
Latest article
Trump doubles down on ’86’ as mob term after Comey indictment
Former FBI Director James Comey made an initial court appearance on Wednesday.
The problem(s) with Team Trump’s new price tag for the war with Iran
The list of questions surrounding the war with Iran is not short, but one of the nagging lines of inquiry involves its price tag:...
Louisiana governor intends to delay House primaries after Supreme Court ruling
Republican Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry intends to postpone the six congressional primaries scheduled for May 16 so the state legislature can implement a new...
