Study: 97% Of All Sounds Infuriating
ANN ARBOR, MI—Presenting data that quantified a fact already widely accepted as true, scientists at the University of Michigan released a study Wednesday proving...
Report: Decision Not To Call Film ‘The Baby Yoda Movie’ To Cost Disney $900...
BURBANK, CA—Citing nearly a billion dollars of pent-up consumer demand for entertainment featuring an infant version of an already beloved character, a new report...
New Season Of ‘Bridgerton’ To Feature 2 Women Falling In Love, Breaking Up, Forming...
LOS ANGELES—Insisting that such queer stories were too often excluded from period dramas, Bridgerton showrunner Jess Brownell confirmed Wednesday that the show’s next season...
Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old
The post Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old appeared first on The Onion.
Nation Likes When Bib Has Picture Of Food They Eating
WASHINGTON—Gleefully strapping the protective garment under their chins and clapping, the U.S. populace announced this week that they like it when their bib has...
Family Looking For Seashells Finds Remains Of Missing Man
A family looking for seashells in California discovered the partial remains of what has now been identified as a former banker who went missing...
Biggest Revelations From The ‘Hannah Montana’ Reunion
Last week, Disney+ reunited the stars of Hannah Montana for the first time since the series premiered two decades ago. Here are the biggest...
Melania Trump Touts Robot Teachers
First Lady Melania Trump appeared with a humanoid robot during an AI education summit, claiming that mechanical educators like it will one day “provide...
New Enterprise Spokesman Claims He Lost 250 Pounds By Renting Cars
ST. LOUIS—Touting the vehicle service as his secret to successfully slimming down and completely transforming his body, new Enterprise spokesman Ryan Moore told reporters...
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Trump doubles down on ’86’ as mob term after Comey indictment
Former FBI Director James Comey made an initial court appearance on Wednesday.
The problem(s) with Team Trump’s new price tag for the war with Iran
The list of questions surrounding the war with Iran is not short, but one of the nagging lines of inquiry involves its price tag:...
Louisiana governor intends to delay House primaries after Supreme Court ruling
Republican Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry intends to postpone the six congressional primaries scheduled for May 16 so the state legislature can implement a new...
