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    Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space

    News In Photos
    The post Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space appeared first on The Onion.
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    Pebble Rattling Around In Shoe Turns Out To Be Loose Toe

    News In Photos
    The post Pebble Rattling Around In Shoe Turns Out To Be Loose Toe appeared first on The Onion.
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    Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones

    News In Photos
    The post Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones appeared first on The Onion.
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    White House Revokes Biden’s Veneers

    News In Photos
    The post White House Revokes Biden’s Veneers appeared first on The Onion.
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    Report: Recession Fears Forcing More Americans To Hold Off On Retiring From Presidency

    News In Photos
    The post Report: Recession Fears Forcing More Americans To Hold Off On Retiring From Presidency appeared first on The Onion.
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    Masters Crowd Whispering Its Lungs Out

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    The post Masters Crowd Whispering Its Lungs Out appeared first on The Onion.
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    Finance Guy Doing Cocaine In Sad Way This Time

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    The post Finance Guy Doing Cocaine In Sad Way This Time appeared first on The Onion.
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    Heaven Enacts Retaliatory Tariffs On U.S.-Bound Miracles

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    The post Heaven Enacts Retaliatory Tariffs On U.S.-Bound Miracles appeared first on The Onion.
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    CNBC Hosts Sit In Stunned Silence For 19th Consecutive Hour

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    The post CNBC Hosts Sit In Stunned Silence For 19th Consecutive Hour appeared first on The Onion.
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    Washington Monument Collapses After Someone Pulls Loose Block

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    The post Washington Monument Collapses After Someone Pulls Loose Block appeared first on The Onion.
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    Latest article

    Grad student shot at FSU recounts moment gunman reloaded as she played dead

    A Florida State University graduate student shared the harrowing moments she was shot on campus and forced to play dead as the gunman reloaded next to her.

    Nearly 300 scientists apply for French academic program amid Trump cuts in U.S.

    Nearly 300 U.S.-based researchers have applied to one program that promises "scientific refugee status" for those fleeing Trump's academic funding rollbacks.(Image credit: Robyn Beck)

    Bill proposing death penalty for first child rape offense moves to House floor

    OKLAHOMA CITY (KFOR) - On Thursday, the House Judiciary and Public Safety Oversight Committee passed Senate Bill 599, authored by Rep. Tim Turner (R-Kinta)...

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