Surrogate Not Allowed On Furniture

Children
SADDLE RIVER, NJ—Saying “Down, down!” in an assertive voice and repeatedly spraying her with water, local man Justin Landry emphasized to reporters Thursday that...
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Middle Schoolers Prevent Bus Crash After Driver Blacks Out

Children
Students from a Mississippi school banded together to prevent their bus from crashing after their driver blacked out from an asthma attack. What do...
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Foreign Exchange Student Doesn’t Realize He’s Being Bullied

Children
HOT SPRINGS, AR—Stating that his fellow pupils held him in the highest regard as the most popular boy in the class, foreign exchange student...
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RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant

Children
The post RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant appeared first on The Onion.
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You’re Not Wrong, Babies Are Getting Worse: Enshittification Comes For A Once-Beloved Classic

Children
The post You’re Not Wrong, Babies Are Getting Worse: Enshittification Comes For A Once-Beloved Classic appeared first on The Onion.
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Walls Closing In On Toddler Who Claimed TV Broke Itself

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SAN JOSE, CA—With his explanation collapsing within seconds under the scrutiny of his parents, local toddler Timmy Herman reportedly felt the walls closing in...
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Legislators renew attempt to improve child care access

Children
For the second time in two years, some Oklahoma lawmakers are attempting to address a critical shortage of child care options for parents. “We’ve...
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DOJ opens criminal investigation into E. Jean Carroll: Reports

The Department of Justice has opened a criminal investigation into E. Jean Carroll, the writer who accused President Donald Trump of sexually assaulting her...

Despite own ties, Stitt criticizes dark money groups, calls for release of mansion donor...

Following a series of News 4 investigations into dark money groups trying to influence Oklahoma elections, Gov. Kevin Stitt is calling for more transparency—and...

Former CIA officer allegedly defrauded US by lying about his credentials: Complaint

The former government officer, David Rush, has been charged with theft of public money, according to a complaint filed in the Eastern District of Virginia.