Foreign Exchange Student Doesn’t Realize He’s Being Bullied

Children
HOT SPRINGS, AR—Stating that his fellow pupils held him in the highest regard as the most popular boy in the class, foreign exchange student...
Read more

RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant

Children
The post RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant appeared first on The Onion.
Read more

You’re Not Wrong, Babies Are Getting Worse: Enshittification Comes For A Once-Beloved Classic

Children
The post You’re Not Wrong, Babies Are Getting Worse: Enshittification Comes For A Once-Beloved Classic appeared first on The Onion.
Read more

Walls Closing In On Toddler Who Claimed TV Broke Itself

Children
SAN JOSE, CA—With his explanation collapsing within seconds under the scrutiny of his parents, local toddler Timmy Herman reportedly felt the walls closing in...
Read more

Roblox Introduces Age-Based Accounts

Children
Roblox announced the introduction of new age-based accounts for young users that allow for greater parental controls, preventing players under 16 from fully accessing...
Read more

FDA Loosens Restrictions On Dousing Children With Synthetic Peptides Until Something Happens

Children
SILVER SPRING, MD—Revealing plans to lift all unnecessary regulations surrounding the use of lab-developed amino acid chains, the Food and Drug Administration announced Tuesday...
Read more

12-Year-Old Accepted Into Worst College Imaginable

Children
WABASH, IN—Emphasizing that her son’s young age had never stopped him from pursuing his dreams, local mother Hannah Butler celebrated Monday when her 12-year-old...
Read more

Nation’s Sensitive Kids Denounce NHL Goal Horns

Children
The post Nation’s Sensitive Kids Denounce NHL Goal Horns appeared first on The Onion.
Read more

Legislators renew attempt to improve child care access

Children
For the second time in two years, some Oklahoma lawmakers are attempting to address a critical shortage of child care options for parents. “We’ve...
Read more

Latest article

Alleged cyberattack temporarily shuts down Canvas

An alleged cyberattack involving “unauthorized activity” on Canvas caused the site to temporarily shut down on Thursday, officials said.

WATCH: Mom surprised on ‘GMA’ after opening home to 300-plus foster kids

Rose Diggs, a mom of two who started her own nonprofit organization, is recognized as this year’s “Breakfast in Bed” honoree live on “GMA.”

Job growth was steady in April, though totals remain far short of Biden-era pace

Expectations heading into this week showed projections of about 55,000 new jobs being created in the United States in April. As it turns out,...