PHILADELPHIA—Expressing confusion over whether they were witnessing a sanctioned in-game antic or the feral behavior of a mascot gone rogue, Philadelphia Flyers fans reported Tuesday that they weren’t sure if Gritty was actually supposed to be eating a live bird. “He went straight from a silly hula dance to this—is it part of the bit or something?” said season ticketholder Bruce Czarnik, staring in wide-eyed disbelief at the smiling orange monster, who smothered a frantic pigeon against his fuzzy chest, stuffed it into his toothless maw, and calmly gummed the still-flapping bird as the arena PA system blasted Lizzo’s “Good As Hell.” “This is pretty different from the usual T-shirt cannon stuff. But I don’t know, it seems like he’s really trying to pump up the crowd. He made a big show of snapping the bird’s neck.” At press time, witnesses confirmed that Gritty had spit out the bird’s head and presented it to a small child before gesturing to the crowd to make some noise.
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