Conservationists Give Gorillas Bank Accounts

Animals
A nonprofit in Rwanda gave gorillas bank accounts as a way to provide compensation to those who render assistance to them, with both the...
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Racehorse Receives Carrot Every Time He Wins $2 Million For Owner

Animals
The post Racehorse Receives Carrot Every Time He Wins $2 Million For Owner appeared first on The Onion.
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Drunk God Makes A Few Dozen Roosters Materialize Over Pacific Ocean

Animals
HONOLULU—Cackling wildly as He willed the barnyard fowl into existence, a drunk God Almighty, Supreme Leader of the Universe, reportedly made a few dozen...
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Flyers Fans Not Sure  Whether Gritty  Supposed To Be Eating Live Bird

Animals
PHILADELPHIA—Expressing confusion over whether they were witnessing a sanctioned in-game antic or the feral behavior of a mascot gone rogue, Philadelphia Flyers fans reported...
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Farmer Buys Guardian Dog To Protect Livestock From RFK Jr.

Animals
ROLAND, AR—Expressing frustration that the rabid Cabinet member had completely decimated the cattle inventory, local farmer Lindon Trelby told reporters he purchased a guard...
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Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest

Animals
The post Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest appeared first on The Onion.
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Straggler Cicadas To Appear

Animals
Cicadas referred to as “stragglers” because they emerge off-cycle may appear this year despite their broods not being expected to emerge, with scientists unsure...
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Biologists Confirm Not Much Evolution Happened Today

Animals
STANFORD, CA—Calling it a “pretty slow one” as far as natural selection and genetic drift were concerned, biologists from Stanford University confirmed Tuesday that...
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Hiker Airlifted After Being Stung By Bees Over 100 Times

Animals
A hiker was forced to be airlifted after he was stung by bees over 100 times, with officials claiming the stings left him “unable...
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Latest article

Warr Acres man arrested for starting fires in rural Oklahoma

A 41-year-old man was arrested and charged with three felony counts of arson after evidence from wildfires pointed back to him, including tire tracks...

Bond for Chud the Builder set at $1.25M in courthouse shooting case

Social media personality "Chud the Builder" appeared in court Friday after he was involved in a shooting at the Montgomery County Courthouse.

Possible US indictment of former Cuban president Raul Castro in coming days: Sources

The U.S. could announce a possible criminal indictment of former Cuban president Raul Castro in the coming days, sources familiar with the matter said.