Epstein Files Reveal Deepak Chopra Still Lost On Little St. James

Vol 62: Issue 8
WASHINGTON—Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word ‘HELP’ has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed, and several stuffed animals, a newly...
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Prosthetic Hand Recipient Slowly Relearning To Lick Barbecue Sauce Off Fingers

Vol 62: Issue 8
COLUMBUS, OH—Speaking with an unflagging sense of hope despite the long, challenging road ahead of him, prosthetic hand recipient James Bratton told reporters Friday...
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Artist Profile: Jelly Roll

Vol 62: Issue 8
Jelly Roll, the artist behind songs “Son Of A Sinner” and “Save Me,” has announced a 2026 tour. The Onion shares everything you need...
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No One At Combine Sure Who Told Prospects To Walk With Water Balloon Between...

Vol 62: Issue 8
The post No One At Combine Sure Who Told Prospects To Walk With Water Balloon Between Knees appeared first on The Onion.
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Taylor Swift Pays Off Bride Who Booked Maid Of Honor She Wanted

Vol 62: Issue 8
NEW YORK—Doing everything within her power to ensure the big day would be absolutely perfect, pop superstar Taylor Swift paid off a bride who had...
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Mother Who Went Missing In 2001 Found Alive

Vol 62: Issue 8
A mother in North Carolina who went missing while Christmas shopping 24 years ago was found “alive and well,” though she claimed she did...
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Confusing Japanese Glory Hole Has Too Many Bells And Whistles

Vol 62: Issue 8
TOKYO—In a bathroom stall outfitted with a glowing panel of cartoon icons and a series of tubular suction gears that pulsed in choreographed sequence...
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Kash Patel Faces Backlash After Partying With Nancy Guthrie’s Captors

Vol 62: Issue 8
WASHINGTON—As shocking footage surfaced of his participation in the rowdy celebration, FBI director Kash Patel faced backlash Thursday after he was seen partying with the...
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The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Former Prince Andrew

Vol 62: Issue 8
The British royal family is under pressure to remove Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor from its line of succession. The Onion sat down with the former prince...
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Amazing Graze

Vol 62: Issue 8
The post Amazing Graze appeared first on The Onion.
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WATCH: Attack on Iran: How we got here

ABC News chief global affairs correspondent Martha Raddatz reports on Iran's recent history and what life was like under the Ayatollah's regime.

Supreme Court blocks redrawing of New York congressional map, dealing a win for GOP

At issue is the mid-term redrawing of New York's 11th congressional district, including Staten Island and a small part of Brooklyn. (Image credit: Win...

Supreme Court blocks California schools’ policies for transgender students

The Supreme Court is clearing the way for California schools to tell parents if their children identify as transgender without getting the student’s approval, granting an emergency appeal from a conservative legal group