Ob-Gyn Warns Alex Cooper To Avoid Public Feuds In First Trimester
LOS ANGELES—Reminding the mother-to-be that everything she did now could have consequences for her unborn child, local obstetrician-gynecologist Dr. Carol Koenig reportedly warned Call...
Cruel Stage Mom Shoves 100 Milligrams Of Adderall Down Grogu’s Throat
The post Cruel Stage Mom Shoves 100 Milligrams Of Adderall Down Grogu’s Throat appeared first on The Onion.
Kyle Richards Menacingly Circles ‘Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives’ Spinoff Shoot
LOS ANGELES—Flashing her freshly manicured nails in a show of dominance, Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills cast member Kyle Richards was seen Thursday circling...
Cannes Jury Sneaks Off To Watch ‘Mortal Kombat II’
CANNES, FRANCE—Glancing over their shoulders to make sure no one was watching them leave, the Cannes Film Festival jury reportedly sneaked off Tuesday to...
BTS Fans Warned Flash Photography Will Trigger J-Hope’s Assassination Protocol
STANFORD, CA—Issuing a stern reminder to all concert attendees, event security staff warned BTS fans Tuesday evening that flash photography would trigger J-Hope’s assassination...
What To Know About ‘Off Campus’
Off Campus, a TV adaptation of the bestselling hockey romance book series, is now streaming. The Onion shares everything you need to know about...
Stagehand Rushes Out To Bring Bruno Mars Different Pelvis For Slow Song
The post Stagehand Rushes Out To Bring Bruno Mars Different Pelvis For Slow Song appeared first on The Onion.
Cannes Film Festival Attendee Eating Nachos Out Of Plastic Beret
The post Cannes Film Festival Attendee Eating Nachos Out Of Plastic Beret appeared first on The Onion.
Post Malone Attempts To Sell More Tickets By Pushing Stadium Tour Back To 2017
The post Post Malone Attempts To Sell More Tickets By Pushing Stadium Tour Back To 2017 appeared first on The Onion.
Taylor Swift Adds Additional Wedding Dates In L.A., Miami, Boston
NEW YORK—In an effort to meet growing demand for her nuptials, pop superstar Taylor Swift announced on Instagram Friday that additional dates for her...
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Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the...
Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity
BOONE, NC—Noting that the troubling signs of a toxic dynamic had become too numerous to ignore, area woman Kara Vasques expressed concern Wednesday that...
Elon Musk Hits Up Text Thread To See If Any Of His 13 Kids...
STARBASE, TX—Firing off dozens of messages in less than a minute at 2:30 a.m., Elon Musk reportedly hit up a text thread Wednesday to...
