Epstein Files Reveal Deepak Chopra Still Lost On Little St. James
WASHINGTON—Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word ‘HELP’ has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed, and several stuffed animals, a newly...
Prosthetic Hand Recipient Slowly Relearning To Lick Barbecue Sauce Off Fingers
COLUMBUS, OH—Speaking with an unflagging sense of hope despite the long, challenging road ahead of him, prosthetic hand recipient James Bratton told reporters Friday...
Artist Profile: Jelly Roll
Jelly Roll, the artist behind songs “Son Of A Sinner” and “Save Me,” has announced a 2026 tour. The Onion shares everything you need...
No One At Combine Sure Who Told Prospects To Walk With Water Balloon Between...
The post No One At Combine Sure Who Told Prospects To Walk With Water Balloon Between Knees appeared first on The Onion.
Taylor Swift Pays Off Bride Who Booked Maid Of Honor She Wanted
NEW YORK—Doing everything within her power to ensure the big day would be absolutely perfect, pop superstar Taylor Swift paid off a bride who had...
Mother Who Went Missing In 2001 Found Alive
A mother in North Carolina who went missing while Christmas shopping 24 years ago was found “alive and well,” though she claimed she did...
Confusing Japanese Glory Hole Has Too Many Bells And Whistles
TOKYO—In a bathroom stall outfitted with a glowing panel of cartoon icons and a series of tubular suction gears that pulsed in choreographed sequence...
Kash Patel Faces Backlash After Partying With Nancy Guthrie’s Captors
WASHINGTON—As shocking footage surfaced of his participation in the rowdy celebration, FBI director Kash Patel faced backlash Thursday after he was seen partying with the...
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Former Prince Andrew
The British royal family is under pressure to remove Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor from its line of succession. The Onion sat down with the former prince...
Latest article
National pizza chain to close 300 locations by end of 2027
Two hundred of the "underperforming" locations will close by the end of this year, according to the company's CFO.
Southwest Airlines ‘refining’ new seating process amid complaints over boarding, bin space
The announcement comes after complaints from some of Southwest’s longtime travelers.
Hegseth leaves door open for boots on the ground in Iran
Four Americans have been killed so far in the war.
