College Vs. Trade School

Vol 62: Issue 6
Amidst rising costs and concerns about long-term prospects, more young Americans are forgoing traditional higher education paths in favor of vocational schools. The Onion...
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RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant

Vol 62: Issue 6
The post RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant appeared first on The Onion.
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The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With JD Vance

Vol 62: Issue 6
Thanks to his swift rise from first-term Ohio senator to next-in-line for the presidency, JD Vance is thought by many to represent the vanguard...
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Hibernation-Ready

Vol 62: Issue 6
This warm, cozy home is move-in ready and features a pile of 100,000 acorns gathered by the previous owner. Reference #882011 The post Hibernation-Ready appeared first...
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Lucy Hastings and Sebastián González

Vol 62: Issue 6
Everyone thought it was strange that the least attractive of the sisters was the first to be married, but no one expected the officiant...
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Delaney Airhart and Jack Trusler

Vol 62: Issue 6
The bride and groom spent Sunday under the impression that they were cementing their union in the eyes of God, who unfortunately was busy...
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Foreign Exchange Student Doesn’t Realize He’s Being Bullied

Vol 62: Issue 6
HOT SPRINGS, AR—Stating that his fellow pupils held him in the highest regard as the most popular boy in the class, foreign exchange student...
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It’s Not Like You’ll Have To Pay It Off

Vol 62: Issue 6
With societal collapse right around the corner, it might be time to roll the dice on this stunning ranch home that will make the...
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‘Garfield’ Director Begs Chris Pratt To Stop Ad-Libbing Bible Verses

Vol 62: Issue 6
LOS ANGELES—In a desperate effort to get production of the animated film sequel back on schedule, Garfield Movie 2 director Mark Dindal reportedly begged...
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Trump Ratchets Up Rhetoric Against Snoopy

Vol 62: Issue 6
WASHINGTON—In what political analysts have called a “major escalation” in the commander-in-chief’s antagonism toward the cultural icon, President Donald Trump made a number of...
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Latest article

Iran live updates: Peace deal a ‘work in progress,’ Rubio says

President Donald Trump announced "major combat operations" against Iran on Feb. 28, with massive joint U.S.-Israeli strikes.

China launches Shenzhou 23 spacecraft with 1 of 3 astronauts set for yearlong stay

China launched the Shenzhou 23 spacecraft with 3 astronauts heading to its space station. One astronaut is set to stay in space for a...

4-Warn Storm Tracker witnesses wrong-way driver seconds before head-on collision in Yukon

YUKON, Okla. (KFOR) — 4-Warn Storm Tracker Aric Dickson was driving in Yukon on I-40 near Czech Hall Road Friday night, finding himself in...