U.S. National Debt Surpasses $40 Trillion
The U.S. national debt surpassed $40 trillion for the first time ever, with Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent claiming the country can grow its way...
Date Name-Drops Creator Of ‘Beetle Bailey’
SEATTLE—Exhibiting an air of practiced nonchalance as he mentioned his high-profile acquaintance, the Hinge date of area woman Melissa Jacobs was overheard Thursday dropping...
Political Profile: Natalie Harp
White House aide Natalie Harp is drawing scrutiny from many political observers. The Onion shares everything you need to know about Harp and her...
Dolly Parton Troubled To Find God Illiterate
THE HEAVENS—Her heart breaking when she discovered the Almighty fumbling over the most basic words on the page in front of Him, country music...
Trump Pushes To Rename Sexual Attraction To Children ‘Americaphilia’
The post Trump Pushes To Rename Sexual Attraction To Children ‘Americaphilia’ appeared first on The Onion.
Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Moving Back To U.K.
Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle are set to return to the U.K. six years after stepping back from royal duties and moving...
New Meta Glasses Feature Reminds Users To Blink To Appear Human
MENLO PARK, CA—Touting the new software update as a staggering innovation no other wearable technology could offer, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced Wednesday that Meta’s...
Doctor Reassures Patient That Lump Probably Just Body Making Extra Guy
COLUMBUS, OH—Telling the 54-year-old there was no reason to panic over the fist-sized bulge that had recently begun shifting beneath the skin of his...
Rest Of Fantasy League Losing Patience With Player Who Has Other Things Going On...
DOYLESTOWN, PA—Expressing frustration over their friend’s increasingly disinterested behavior in recent years, participants in a local fantasy football league confirmed Tuesday that they were...
Latest article
The stakes as high as Kevin Warsh is set to give his first major...
The stakes are high as Fed Chair Kevin Warsh prepares to give a speech on Friday at the annual gathering of economists and central...
Why the new head of the National Capital Planning Commission matters to the White...
Congress created the National Capital Planning Commission about a century ago, with the idea that the agency would focus on central planning in and...
Shackled Tate brothers in court asking to be released from jail during extradition fight
MIAMI (AP) — Defense lawyers for social media influencers Andrew and Tristan Tate argued Thursday if Romania is OK with them being out of...
