Shaman Named Dwayne
The post Shaman Named Dwayne appeared first on The Onion.
Tina Watts and Joey Bazan
The bride and groom are about to learn that a shared obsession with pickleball gets you about seven months.
The post Tina Watts and Joey...
Vacationing Mom Misses Alexa
MYRTLE BEACH, SC—Sighing loudly as she gazed at the empty countertop in the family’s rented condo, vacationing mom Jan Freehorn told reporters Friday that...
Everyone Needs To Calm Down, Reports Man Who Accidentally Shot Someone
CLARKTON, NC—Stressing the need to get a grip and think clearly for a second, local man Ryan Kruze, who had just accidentally shot someone,...
Michelle Zhang-Russo
Michelle Zhang-Russo, 54, died expectedly to everyone who knows you should never order oysters from a restaurant on a Monday.
The post Michelle Zhang-Russo appeared...
We Seem To Be At An Impasse Over What $24.99 Worth Of Shrimp Looks Like
Well, sir, it pains me to say this, but it appears we are at loggerheads: I have said my piece. You have responded in...
Near Rock Climbing Gym
You’re always talking about joining, so let’s see how truly full of shit you are.
Reference #63248
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Live Better Than A King
Live Better Than A King: Lord over this 750-square-foot studio replete with modern electricity—a luxury that Cyrus the Great, Charlemagne, and even the powerful...
Power-Mad Marvel Claims ‘Night At The Roxbury’ Part Of MCU
BURBANK, CA—In a bold and shameless effort to expand their growing reach in the film industry, power-mad Marvel Studios executives claimed Friday that A...
Is Taking A GLP-1 Worth It?
As more Americans than ever turn to Ozempic and Wegovy for weight loss, consumers are becoming increasingly conscious of such drugs’ trade-offs. Here are...
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As Burgum’s troubles intensify at the Interior Department, Trump’s new move won’t help
Around this time three years ago, then-North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum still had a reputation as a relatively pragmatic Republican with a successful private-sector...
Emergency crews respond to crash involving EMBARK bus
Emergency crews responded after a crash involving a motorcycle and an EMBARK bus Monday morning.
FULL LIST: Dips, salsas sold at major retailers in 26 states recalled over salmonella...
The salsa, dips, guacamole, and more were sold at Kroger, Target, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and Walmart locations across half the U.S.
