Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday

Vol 62: Issue 15
WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger to millions of furious motorists, oil prices plummeted Friday, delivering a big fuck-you to...
Read more

Tips For Getting Better Haircuts

Vol 62: Issue 15
Getting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge. The Onion shares tips for getting better haircuts. Be as specific as possible when describing...
Read more

Lena Dunham Claims Adam Driver Used The Force On Set Of ‘Girls’

Vol 62: Issue 15
LOS ANGELES—Accusing the actor of abusing the all-powerful Life Current that binds the universe together, Lena Dunham claimed Friday that Adam Driver used the...
Read more

Latest article

4-Warn Storm Tracker witnesses wrong-way driver seconds before head-on collision in Yukon

YUKON, Okla. (KFOR) — 4-Warn Storm Tracker Aric Dickson was driving in Yukon on I-40 near Czech Hall Road Friday night, finding himself in...

Navy chief undercuts Trump and Hegseth on Taiwan, Iran

Navy chief undercuts Trump and Hegseth on Taiwan, Iran

California chemical tank has cracked causing state of emergency, thousands to evacuate

One California town is in a state of emergency and 50,000 people are under an evacuation order as a malfunctioning chemical tank at an...