Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks

Vol 62: Issue 14
A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested positive for cocaine, caffeine, painkillers, and other substances, with such contaminants increasingly found in...
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Melania Trump Slams Baseless Reports Linking Her To Wrong Wealthy Pedophile

Vol 62: Issue 14
WASHINGTON—In an effort to refute what she described as utterly vile attacks on her character, Melania Trump slammed baseless reports this week that linked...
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George Lucas Calls Darth Maul To Congratulate Him On Disney+ Series

Vol 62: Issue 14
SAN ANSELMO, CA—Feeling surprised and delighted by his former employee’s success, Star Wars creator George Lucas reportedly called Darth Maul on Friday to congratulate the Sith...
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MLB Rookie Still Can’t Believe The Sunflower Seeds Are Free

Vol 62: Issue 14
NEW YORK—Saying that it was truly sinking in that he had finally made it to the big leagues, New York Mets rookie Carson Benge...
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Pros And Cons Of Phone-Free Concerts

Vol 62: Issue 14
More artists are banning phones at their shows. The Onion examines the pros and cons of phone-free concerts.  PRO Phone finally gets some alone time Get to...
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‘Hot Ones’ Host Begs BTS To Stop Dancing And Try Wings

Vol 62: Issue 14
NEW YORK—BTS appeared Thursday in an unconventionally tense episode of the YouTube series Hot Wings during which host Sean Evans was reportedly forced to...
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Passenger Gives Birth Mid-Flight

Vol 62: Issue 14
A Caribbean Airlines passenger went into labor while traveling to New York from Jamaica, giving birth as the flight was in its final descent...
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State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands

Vol 62: Issue 14
WASHINGTON—In an effort to call attention to a potentially life-threatening hazard, the State Department issued a travel warning Thursday for all women considering taking...
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NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers

Vol 62: Issue 14
Following their historic moon flyby, the Artemis II crew will return to Earth on Friday. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures...
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‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ Director Confirms Adrian Grenier Cameo As Corpse On Street

Vol 62: Issue 14
NEW YORK—In an announcement that left fans of the 2006 original buzzing with excitement, The Devil Wears Prada 2 director David Frankel confirmed Wednesday...
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Latest article

How Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán’s hometown became a symbol of excesses

Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán has long been accused of corruption. Sightseers now flock to his hometown as groups aim to raise awareness of...

Celebrate 250 Years of the United States with the 395th Army Band

Oklahoma City (KFOR)- On Saturday, the 395th Army band put on a show for audiences at the Oklahoma History Center. The band is celebrating...

Pope Leo XIV denounces the ‘delusion of omnipotence’ he says fuels the US-Israeli war...

Pope Leo XIV denounces the 'delusion of omnipotence' he says fuels the US-Israeli war in Iran.