Financial Experts Recommend Putting Tax Return Toward Dream Sandwich

Food
NEW YORK—Urging Americans to think long-term when considering any financial decisions, experts from Wells Fargo recommended Monday that taxpayers earmark a portion of their...
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Trump Unwittingly Breaks Chinese Taboo Against Napping Facedown In Soup Bowl

Food
The post Trump Unwittingly Breaks Chinese Taboo Against Napping Facedown In Soup Bowl appeared first on The Onion.
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Trump Shares Recipe For Famous ‘Better Than Pedophilia’ Cake

Food
WASHINGTON—Claiming that his signature dessert had garnered rave reviews from victims and co-conspirators alike, President Donald Trump took to Truth Social on Tuesday to...
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Trump Shares Recipe For Famous ‘Better Than Pedophilia’ Cake

Food
WASHINGTON—Claiming that his signature dessert had garnered rave reviews from victims and co-conspirators alike, President Donald Trump took to Truth Social on Tuesday to...
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Customer Waits Until Barista Watching To Disarm Gunman

Food
LOS ANGELES—In an effort to ensure his good deed did not go unseen and unappreciated, customer Angus Helms waited until the barista was watching...
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Customer Waits Until Barista Watching To Disarm Gunman

Food
LOS ANGELES—In an effort to ensure his good deed did not go unseen and unappreciated, customer Angus Helms waited until the barista was watching...
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McCormick Introduces New Transdermal Gravy Patch

Food
HUNT VALLEY, MD—Hailing the product as a life-changing alternative for those in need of controlled withdrawal solutions, officials at packaged food giant McCormick &...
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Racehorse Receives Carrot Every Time He Wins $2 Million For Owner

Food
The post Racehorse Receives Carrot Every Time He Wins $2 Million For Owner appeared first on The Onion.
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Good Spatula Dirty

Food
The post Good Spatula Dirty appeared first on The Onion.
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Trump Conducts Marathon Reading Of Arby’s Menu In Appeal To Meat Lovers

Food
WASHINGTON—Bowing his head as he solemnly recited the fast food offerings, President Donald Trump conducted a marathon reading of the Arby’s menu Thursday in...
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Forest ranger details dramatic cave rescue of man stuck in crevice

A man hiking in Canaan, New York, was rescued after being stuck in a crevice in a cave for hours.

DOJ filing invokes weekend White House shooting in ballroom case

An overnight Department of Justice filing cast Saturday's shooting on Pennsylvania Avenue as another attempted assassination of President Donald Trump.

Pope Leo XIV apologizes for Vatican’s role in legitimizing slavery

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Leo XIV made a historic apology on Monday for the role the Holy See played in legitimizing slavery and for having...