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Posts by The Onion Staff
The Onion Staff
199 POSTS
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Former Print Exclusive
Tanya Brown
Sports
Carlos Alcaraz Credits Success To Tennis Being Easiest Game In The...
Former Print Exclusive
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Pope Leo XIV
Children
FDA Loosens Restrictions On Dousing Children With Synthetic Peptides Until Something...
News
U.S. Fertility Rate Plummets To Pre-Nick Cannon Levels
Former Print Exclusive
Peyton Boudouris and Brandon Trusler
Entertainment
‘Real Housewives Of Rhode Island’ All Holding Gov. Dan McKee In...
Commentary
Growing Up With Brothers, I’ve Always Gotten Along Better With Guys...
Children
12-Year-Old Accepted Into Worst College Imaginable
Former Print Exclusive
Pentagon Develops Tactical Zoot Suit
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Latest article
2 killed in Caribbean strike on alleged ‘narco-trafficking’ boat, Pentagon says
U.S. Southern Command said in a statement that it struck an alleged "narco-trafficking" boat in the Caribbean Sea on Monday, killing two people.
U.S. attempt to open Strait of Hormuz tests fragile Iran war ceasefire
The Iran war risked reigniting after the U.S. tried to force open the Strait of Hormuz, though a ceasefire seemed to be holding Tuesday...
WATCH: 2026 Met Gala highlights
The 2026 Met Gala saw stars from Beyoncé and Jay-Z to Madonna, Cher, Bad Bunny, Sabrina Carpenter grace the red carpet.