According to one estimate, the average human consumes five grams of microplastics every week. The Onion shares tips for reducing your exposure to the harmful particles.
Use water bottles made of 100% wool.
Drink from single-use plastic cups instead of biting into them.
Buy your children wooden toys instead of fun ones.
Line your mouth with bivalves like oysters and clams that can filter out plastic particulate.
Restrict kazoo-playing to a few hours per week.
Avoid drinking water sourced from Earth.
Consider investing in a cast-iron sex doll.
Fork over $3,000 to Goop.
The post Tips For Reducing Your Exposure to Microplastics appeared first on The Onion.
