Three people have died and others have fallen ill after contracting hantavirus aboard a Dutch-owned luxury cruise ship. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the illness.
Q: What are the symptoms of hantavirus?
A: It starts with feeling stressed out about the state of the world.
Q: Who is at the highest risk of infection?
A: Anyone who participates in “The Hantavirus Challenge.”
Q: Who is to blame for the contagion?
A: The HR manager who approved patient zero’s PTO request.
Q: Is this going to ruin my cruise?
A: No, it’ll just make things a little more interesting.
Q: Is there a hantavirus vaccine?
A: A vaccine will only be approved if it also helps with weight loss.
Q: How does hantavirus spread?
A: Like a good deed or a smile, exponentially.
Q: Do I need to worry about hantavirus?
A: Statistically, 40% of us won’t be worrying about anything soon.
The post What To Know About Hantavirus appeared first on The Onion.
