Man Terrified After Urine Comes Out Clear For First Time In Life
CHICAGO—Growing visibly alarmed as he speculated about the unclouded liquid’s implications for his long-term health, 53-year-old Charles Lewis reportedly became terrified Tuesday morning after...
Amazon Destroying Rare Books To Train AI
New evidence suggests Amazon is buying up rare books and tearing their pages from their spines in order to feed its AI models with...
Raya Introduces New PR Relationship Mode
LOS ANGELES—Empowering their users to be completely upfront about their intentions, officials for the dating app Raya announced Tuesday they were launching an all-new...
Report: More Americans Abandoning Lengthy Conversations In Favor Of One Really Big Word
PHILADELPHIA—Suggesting that the nation was increasingly prioritizing speed and efficiency in speaking, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found...
BREAKING: If Harry, Meghan Going To U.K., Then Heck, Rest Of America Going With...
WASHINGTON—Swarming the nation’s airports as they rushed to board any available transatlantic flight, the U.S. populace decided Monday that if Harry and Meghan were going...
Energy Drinks: Myth Vs. Fact
Regulators around the world are cracking down on energy drinks, citing serious health risks associated with high levels of caffeine and sugar. The Onion...
God Concerned By Q3 Circumcision Numbers
THE HEAVENS—Noting that a marked downward trend had developed this fiscal year and showed no signs of stopping, The Lord God, Creator of Heaven...
Trump Makes Repeated Verbal Flubs While Performing ‘Wild Wild West’ Theme Song
The post Trump Makes Repeated Verbal Flubs While Performing ‘Wild Wild West’ Theme Song appeared first on The Onion.
Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy
Newly declassified documents show former Rep. Eric Swalwell admitted to the FBI that he had “physical relations” with a suspected Chinese spy on a...
Dad Stuns Family With Proclamation He Believes In Werewolves
TOPEKA, KS—In a shocking announcement that instantly brought all dinner conversation to a screeching halt, local father Jesse Pflughaupt reportedly stunned his family Monday...
Latest article
The stakes as high as Kevin Warsh is set to give his first major...
The stakes are high as Fed Chair Kevin Warsh prepares to give a speech on Friday at the annual gathering of economists and central...
Why the new head of the National Capital Planning Commission matters to the White...
Congress created the National Capital Planning Commission about a century ago, with the idea that the agency would focus on central planning in and...
Shackled Tate brothers in court asking to be released from jail during extradition fight
MIAMI (AP) — Defense lawyers for social media influencers Andrew and Tristan Tate argued Thursday if Romania is OK with them being out of...
