Ryan Gosling Joins MCU To Take On Role Of Stan Lee Cameos
LOS ANGELES—In an announcement that led fans to praise the “perfect casting,” actor Ryan Gosling confirmed Tuesday that he was officially joining the Marvel...
‘We’ll Keep It Down,’ Man Says To Neighbor Before Going Back To Playing ‘DDR’...
MORRO BAY, CA—Peeking out through the doorway to address the complaints, local man Hugh Montgomery reportedly said, “We’ll keep it down,” to neighbor Grace...
Pharmaceutical Ad Urges Viewers To Fight Doctors Who Say Drug Not Right For Them
NORTH CHICAGO, IL—Emphasizing that potential users of the drug should never take no for an answer, a Skyrizi ad that began airing nationally Tuesday...
Tanning: Myth Vs. Fact
A viral trend called “tanmaxxing” is encouraging Gen Z to ignore the documented risks associated with prolonged UV exposure and forgo sunscreen in pursuit...
Brad Pitt Drops Last Name In Solidarity With Family
LOS ANGELES—In an effort to support his children as they attempted to distance themselves from their difficult upbringing, actor Brad Pitt announced on Monday that...
Profits Soar As Taylor Farms Rebrands As Biological Weapons Manufacturer
The post Profits Soar As Taylor Farms Rebrands As Biological Weapons Manufacturer appeared first on The Onion.
Man Eating Salad Takes Moment To Appreciate What A Good Boy He’s Being
GRAND JUNCTION, CO—Pausing as he lifted a forkful of lettuce and baby spinach toward his mouth, local man Logan Barger reportedly took a moment...
Lucky Chicago Architecture Tour Witnesses Live Feeding Of Willis Tower
CHICAGO—Pulling out their phones to capture footage of the extraordinary event, lucky participants in a Chicago architecture tour reportedly witnessed a rare live feeding...
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Google adds AI to satellite images, raising fears of deepfakes in the sky
Journalists, human rights advocates and open source analysts recoiled in horror at the move: "The opportunities for abuse and disinfo are literally boundless," said...
City of Pauls Valley Animal Welfare issues public alert
The City of Pauls Valley Animal Welfare is alerting the public that its officers do not, and will not, leave handwritten notices on notebook...
Chicagoans Over 25 Urged To Shelter In Place Until Lollapalooza Over
The post Chicagoans Over 25 Urged To Shelter In Place Until Lollapalooza Over appeared first on The Onion.
