Meatpacking Plant Workers Weirded Out By Guy Older Than 16
HOLCOMB, KS—Confused and even disturbed at the sight of a new employee who recently appeared on the processing line, workers at local meatpacking plant Carlyle Foods confirmed...
Adult Man Genuinely Inspired By AI Video Of Lion Wearing Rolex
IRVINE, CA—Eyes widening in awe as the 3D-rendered content appeared on his Instagram feed, local 38-year-old Derek Ludlow reported Wednesday that he felt genuinely...
What To Know About ‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’
Spider-Man: Brand New Day opens in theaters this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new film.
Q: What’s the premise?
A:...
Profits Soar As Taylor Farms Rebrands As Biological Weapons Manufacturer
The post Profits Soar As Taylor Farms Rebrands As Biological Weapons Manufacturer appeared first on The Onion.
Lucky Chicago Architecture Tour Witnesses Live Feeding Of Willis Tower
CHICAGO—Pulling out their phones to capture footage of the extraordinary event, lucky participants in a Chicago architecture tour reportedly witnessed a rare live feeding...
Rockies Fan Opens Private Tab To Check Score
The post Rockies Fan Opens Private Tab To Check Score appeared first on The Onion.
Elon Musk: ‘Revenge Porn Is A Human Right’
The post Elon Musk: ‘Revenge Porn Is A Human Right’ appeared first on The Onion.
Baseball Hall Of Fame Displays Fossilized Skeleton Of Stan Musial
The post Baseball Hall Of Fame Displays Fossilized Skeleton Of Stan Musial appeared first on The Onion.
LeBron James: ‘I Will Never Forget My Los Angeles Roots’
The post LeBron James: ‘I Will Never Forget My Los Angeles Roots’ appeared first on The Onion.
Latest article
Red Cross Warns Blood Supply Alarmingly Low
The American Red Cross warned that a critical shortage of blood could prevent those needing life-saving transfusions from getting them, urging donations from everyone...
Abandoned iguana found duct-taped to tree in Missouri
City officials are asking for the public's help after an iguana was found abandoned and duct-taped to a tree along a walking trail in...
Report: Artists Not Boycotting Grammys Down To Meghan Trainor, Susan Boyle, Sugar Ray
SANTA MONICA, CA—Stating that they were looking forward to another spectacular and soul-stirring awards ceremony in February, the Recording Academy confirmed Friday that the...
