Trump Claims Correspondents’ Dinner Shooting Reinforces Need To End Journalism
WASHINGTON—Declaring that the frightening incident underscored a point he had been making for many years, President Donald Trump claimed Monday that the shooting at...
Grindr To Host White House Correspondents Dinner Party
LGBTQ dating app Grindr will host its first-ever White House Correspondents dinner party on Friday night before the event. What do you think?
“Finally, a...
UFC Broadcasters Look Like It
The post UFC Broadcasters Look Like It appeared first on The Onion.
TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau
TMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip, has opened a Washington bureau and turned its sights on politicians. What do you...
Nick Offerman Visits Criterion Closet To Rebuild Shelves
NEW YORK—In an eight-hour-long video posted Tuesday to the Criterion Collection’s YouTube channel, actor Nick Offerman can be seen paying a visit to the...
‘Real Housewives Of Rhode Island’ All Holding Gov. Dan McKee In Opening Credits
The post ‘Real Housewives Of Rhode Island’ All Holding Gov. Dan McKee In Opening Credits appeared first on The Onion.
CBS Announces Retirement Of Longtime Masters Commentators Captain Cooter And The Gooch
AUGUSTA, GA—Saluting the illustrious sportscasters for their passionate work over the course of nearly 40 years in the Augusta National Golf Club broadcast booth,...
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Despondent Shohei Ohtani Figured He Would Have Met Steve-O After 8 Years In U.S.
LOS ANGELES—Admitting that it had cast a long shadow over his otherwise successful time in America, despondent Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani told reporters Tuesday...
‘Sidewalk Closed’ Sign Leaves Pedestrians Frightened, Wandering Helplessly
CHICAGO—Plunged into sudden disarray and confusion, pedestrians on Augusta Boulevard were reportedly left frightened and wandering helplessly Monday after encountering a bright orange “Sidewalk...
Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation
The post Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation appeared first on The Onion.
