RFK Jr. Promotes Natural Immunity With Invitation To Touch His Festering Sore
WASHINGTON—Establishing new federal guidelines for disease prevention as he moves to restrict public access to a number of vaccines, Health and Human Services Secretary...
Planet Fitness Bans Proper Form
HAMPTON, NH—Stressing its commitment to making everyone feel welcome regardless of athletic ability, national gym franchise Planet Fitness instituted a new policy Thursday that...
NIH Director’s Pulsing Neck Tumor Announces Cancer Research Cuts
The post NIH Director’s Pulsing Neck Tumor Announces Cancer Research Cuts appeared first on The Onion.
Office Adds Area For Lactating Mothers To Discreetly Pump Iron
TUCSON, AZ—In a move that has earned praise from women’s rights advocates, local business Leiderman Insurance reportedly unveiled a dedicated space Friday for lactating...
Poor 3rd Grader Bullied For Using Generic EpiPen
ROANOKE, VA—As he struggled to discreetly administer the life-saving anaphylaxis treatment following a bee sting, local poor third-grader Mason Prewitt was reportedly bullied this...
FDA Warns Against Eating Potentially Radioactive Shrimp Sold At Walmart
The Food and Drug Administration warned Americans not to consume Great Value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmart due to possible contamination with the...
Reversible damage found in marathon runners’ brains: study
(NewsNation) — A 26.2-mile run can do some damage to the brain, according to a recent study, but the impact is temporary and reversible.
A...
Health Department Shuts Down Guy Fieri
SANTA ROSA, CA—Upon issuing a citation that listed wet surfaces and thick coatings of grease among numerous other violations, the Sonoma County Health Department...
Nutritionists Warn Taco Bell $3 Steak Burrito A $3 Steak Burrito
ROCHESTER, MN—In an effort to advise American consumers about the potential hazards of ingesting the Mexican-inspired fast food item, nutritionists at the Mayo Clinic...
Tom Cruise Buys Fitbit To Help Him Get 10,000 Daily Stunts
CLEARWATER, FL—Explaining that his personal health was everything to him, Tom Cruise told reporters Thursday he had purchased a Fitbit to help him get...
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Sean Combs, in custody for a year, to face sentencing on split verdict
The music mogul, who was convicted on two counts of transportation for prostitution but acquitted of more serious charges, will be in court on...
Artist Profile: Zach Bryan
With 112,408 fans attending his show Saturday at Michigan Stadium, country star Zach Bryan set a new national record for the largest ticketed concert...
City of Edmond announces lane closures on Santa Fe Ave.
EDMOND, Okla. (KFOR) - The City of Edmond has announced intermittent lane closures on Santa Fe Avenue starting October 6.
According to the City, the...
