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    RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism

    Former Print Exclusive
    WASHINGTON—Claiming that 100% of users experienced dangerous side effects as a result of wearing the contraceptive device, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly paused an...
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    Congress Plays Keep-Away With Child’s School Lunch

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    WASHINGTON—After entering a school cafeteria in D.C. and wrenching a brown paper bag from the hands of a small child, U.S. senators and representatives...
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    House With Cool Turret Thing

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    Come on, look at how cool this tower thingy is. Imagine sitting in a little circular room like that. So cool. Reference #56727 The post House...
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    Drawing Conclusions

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    The post Drawing Conclusions appeared first on The Onion.
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    Patriots To Stop Serving Alcohol To Players After 3rd Quarter

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    FOXBOROUGH, MA—In an effort to promote a safer environment at Gillette Stadium, the New England Patriots announced Wednesday that they would stop serving alcohol...
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    8th Grader’s Voice Drops 6 Octaves Over Summer

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    DEDHAM, MA—Remarking that the adolescent had undergone some pronounced developmental changes during the course of his vacation, middle school sources reported Tuesday that eighth...
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    How Marijuana Affects The Brain

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    How Marijuana Affects The Brain As expanded access leads to increased pot use nationwide, health experts say it’s more important than ever to understand the...
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    New Kid Easily Wins Over Classroom With Belly Tricks

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    CRYSTAL LAKE, IL—With a crowd gathering around the new kid as word of his charming antics quickly spread among his peers, witnesses confirmed Tuesday...
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    Scalpers Jack Up Price Of Colorado Rockies Ticket To $11

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    DENVER—In what’s being decried as an outrageous case of price-gouging, scalpers have reportedly begun charging as much as $11 for Colorado Rockies tickets, forcing...
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    Mark Rodney

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    Mark Rodney, 52, passed away suddenly last Saturday. His family has announced that the first person to correctly guess his cause of death will...
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    Latest article

    Sean Combs, in custody for a year, to face sentencing on split verdict

    The music mogul, who was convicted on two counts of transportation for prostitution but acquitted of more serious charges, will be in court on...

    Artist Profile: Zach Bryan

    With 112,408 fans attending his show Saturday at Michigan Stadium, country star Zach Bryan set a new national record for the largest ticketed concert...

    City of Edmond announces lane closures on Santa Fe Ave.

    EDMOND, Okla. (KFOR) - The City of Edmond has announced intermittent lane closures on Santa Fe Avenue starting October 6. According to the City, the...

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