WASHINGTON—Denouncing what they called a “sickening” misrepresentation of the facts, critics of a new Michael Jackson biopic argued Monday that the movie brazenly depicted Neverland Ranch with way cooler rides than it actually had. “Michael is a shameless whitewashing of ride options that frankly were no better than what you’d encounter at a ramshackle roadside carnival,” said advocate Jillian Moore, adding that not one of the pop icon’s alleged victims recalled being fondled anywhere near the high-velocity triple-loop roller coaster or 400-foot drop tower portrayed in the film. “It should come as no surprise that a film made with the blessing of Michael Jackson’s estate would feature not a single interview with someone who could attest to the haunted house being over in, like, two minutes. Someday, the truth, including the actual number of bumper cars, will be revealed for all the world to see. Until then, we advise anyone watching this cynical cash grab not to forget the innocent children wildly disappointed by a pirate ship ride nowhere near as good as the one at Six Flags.” Reached for comment, the film’s producers acknowledged that Michael Jackson might have violated children but vehemently defended Neverland rides as offering incomparable thrills and spills.
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