Jean McCarthy and Allison Foster

Vol 62: Issue 2
Friends and family of the betrothed traveled from near and far to learn there are no Ubers in Fair Grove, MO. The post Jean McCarthy...
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Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy

Vol 62: Issue 2
DOVER, WI—In an incident local residents have described as more-or-less tolerable, authorities announced Friday that only two were dead in what many were calling...
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J.K. Rowling Escapes  Insane Asylum

Vol 62: Issue 2
LONDON—Urging the public to remain calm as authorities worked to recapture the mentally disturbed individual, city officials confirmed Monday that novelist J.K. Rowling had...
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Converted Church For Yuppie Douchebags

Vol 62: Issue 2
Own a piece of history while lording your precious uniqueness over everyone around you with this wildly impractical $2 million statement home. Reference #70369 The post...
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International Chess Federation Adds Race Car Piece

Vol 62: Issue 2
LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND—In what scholars have called the largest shake-up of the game’s rule set in centuries, the International Chess Federation announced Tuesday that it...
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Usha Vance Catches Husband Measuring Her Skull Again

Vol 62: Issue 2
The post Usha Vance Catches Husband Measuring Her Skull Again appeared first on The Onion.
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Evelyn Simmons

Vol 62: Issue 2
Avid online shopper Evelyn Simmons, 55, passed away suddenly, making this an opportune time for porch pirates to finally make their move. The post Evelyn...
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Unclear Where Girlfriend Keeps Making All These Friends

Vol 62: Issue 2
CINCINNATI—Unable to provide an explanation for the woman’s rich social life, area man Jason Hellerman told reporters Tuesday that it was unclear where his...
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Pete Hegseth Laid On Side For Cabinet Meeting

Vol 62: Issue 2
WASHINGTON—In an effort to keep his airways clear while his colleagues discussed foreign policy, U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was laid on his...
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Samantha Irizarry and Isaac Porter

Vol 62: Issue 2
The couple were wed Saturday in a ceremony attended by both of their future spouses. The post Samantha Irizarry and Isaac Porter appeared first on...
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Trump’s pick to lead CDC signals shift away from vaccine skepticism

Trump's pick to lead CDC signals shift away from vaccine skepticism

1 in 3 US households struggle to pay energy bills, but the reality is...

1 in 3 US households struggle to pay energy bills, but the reality is likely even worse

Photos: How overfishing in Southeast Asia is an ecological and human crisis

A rare look at one of the world's most critical and understudied environmental crises. Southeast Asia produces more than half of the world's fish,...