Casket Still Has Stock Corpse In It 

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ATHENS, GA—Noting that the dead body was “far more handsome” than her deceased brother, local woman Danielle Lundy confirmed the casket she purchased this...
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DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment

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WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing...
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ICE Taps BTK Killer To Design New Migrant Detention Center

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WASHINGTON—Calling the upcoming collaboration their most “ambitious foray yet into the field of human suffering,” U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Wednesday that...
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Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest

Death
The post Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest appeared first on The Onion.
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Iran ceasefire tested as cargo ship catches fire after being hit off Qatar’s coast

A cargo ship caught fire Sunday after being hit by an unknown projectile off Qatar's coast, the British military said.

Gas, groceries and getting by: How voters in one Ohio district see affordability

Ohio voters headed to the polls last week for primary elections, and in competitive districts like the one where Toledo is primarily located, the...

WATCH: Nationwide battle over redistricting escalates

The fight to redraw the nation’s congressional maps is escalating as Virginia asks its own Supreme Court to pause the ruling that struck down a new map Democrats had counted on.