Steve Jobs’ Fist Bursts Through Grave Clutching Crude Drawing Of Something Called ‘The Octomac’

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The post Steve Jobs’ Fist Bursts Through Grave Clutching Crude Drawing Of Something Called ‘The Octomac’ appeared first on The Onion.
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Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest

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The post Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest appeared first on The Onion.
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Casket Still Has Stock Corpse In It 

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ATHENS, GA—Noting that the dead body was “far more handsome” than her deceased brother, local woman Danielle Lundy confirmed the casket she purchased this...
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Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy

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DOVER, WI—In an incident local residents have described as more-or-less tolerable, authorities announced Friday that only two were dead in what many were calling...
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Iran ceasefire tested as cargo ship catches fire after being hit off Qatar’s coast

A cargo ship caught fire Sunday after being hit by an unknown projectile off Qatar's coast, the British military said.

Gas, groceries and getting by: How voters in one Ohio district see affordability

Ohio voters headed to the polls last week for primary elections, and in competitive districts like the one where Toledo is primarily located, the...

WATCH: Nationwide battle over redistricting escalates

The fight to redraw the nation’s congressional maps is escalating as Virginia asks its own Supreme Court to pause the ruling that struck down a new map Democrats had counted on.