WASHINGTON—Saying the opportunity to masterfully execute a difficult parking job was never far from their minds, the nation’s dads confirmed Tuesday a deep yearning for the chance to back a large vehicle into a tight spot. “Oh yeah, I could definitely fit a van back there,” said Maryland father George Packard, echoing the sentiments of millions of other dads across the country who similarly wished to hop into the driver’s seat of a truck or full-size SUV, check the rearview mirror, and smoothly reverse into a compact parking space. “The trick is to pull out wide and turn sharp. You gotta really crank the wheel. It’s all in the positioning and angles. Look over your shoulder, mind your clearance, and move backwards nice and easy. I’ve definitely parked in much tighter spots.” At press time, America’s dads were ruthlessly mocking the “pussies” who rely on a backup camera.
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