Even Shaq Surprised To Learn He’s The New Spokesman For DivaCup

Sports
HEATH, TX—Admitting that he had no memory of agreeing to the endorsement deal, NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal told reporters Tuesday that even...
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Dad Demands Youth Coach Play Unathletic Son Less

Sports
UKIAH, CA—Calling the blatant display of favoritism unfair to both his child and the other players on the field, local father David McKenzie reportedly...
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‘Sports Illustrated’ Removes Distracting Models From Swimsuit Edition

Sports
NEW YORK—In an effort to focus on the incredible array of bathing suits featured in its pages, Sports Illustrated announced Wednesday that it would...
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Celtics Attempt To Lure Giannis By Announcing Payton Pritchard His Brother Now

Sports
BOSTON—In an effort to entice Giannis Antetokounmpo to join the franchise, the Boston Celtics announced Tuesday that guard Payton Pritchard was now the two-time...
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Despondent Shohei Ohtani Figured He Would Have Met Steve-O After 8 Years In U.S.

Sports
LOS ANGELES—Admitting that it had cast a long shadow over his otherwise successful time in America, despondent Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani told reporters Tuesday...
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Masturbating Man Keeping Eye On Game

Sports
SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Though he focused the majority of his attention on stroking and squeezing his genitalia, sources confirmed that local masturbating man Kenneth Carter still...
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WWII Veteran Standing On Field Not Planned 

Sports
KANSAS CITY, MO—Shuffling quietly near the third-base line as security officials scrambled to piece together a response, a frail uniformed World War II veteran...
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Yankees Appearance Policy Amended To Allow Extreme Body Modification 

Sports
TAMPA, FL—Acknowledging that the organization’s famously clean-cut grooming standards had grown increasingly out of place in a league that has otherwise evolved to embrace...
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Terrified Adolis García Wondering If Anyone Else Can See Phillie Phanatic

Sports
PHILADELPHIA—Attempting to remain calm while the massive green creature gyrated on top of the dugout, a terrified Adolis García reportedly asked teammates Tuesday if...
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Carlos Alcaraz Withdraws From French Open Over Career-Threatening Haircut

Sports
MURCIA, SPAIN—Sending shock waves through the tennis world, world No. 2 Carlos Alcaraz officially withdrew from the French Open on Monday over a career-threatening...
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Despite own ties, Stitt criticizes dark money groups, calls for release of mansion donor...

Following a series of News 4 investigations into dark money groups trying to influence Oklahoma elections, Gov. Kevin Stitt is calling for more transparency—and...

Former CIA officer allegedly defrauded US by lying about his credentials: Complaint

The former government officer, David Rush, has been charged with theft of public money, according to a complaint filed in the Eastern District of Virginia. 

Newsom seeks to shield California elections from federal interference

Gov. Gavin Newsom has signed legislation that aims to shield California elections from federal interference ahead of the state's primary next week