Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees

Politics
WASHINGTON—After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a report he had prepared on the matter, a badly swollen Robert F. Kennedy Jr....
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Usha Vance Catches Husband Measuring Her Skull Again

Politics
The post Usha Vance Catches Husband Measuring Her Skull Again appeared first on The Onion.
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Pete Hegseth Laid On Side For Cabinet Meeting

Politics
WASHINGTON—In an effort to keep his airways clear while his colleagues discussed foreign policy, U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was laid on his...
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Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum

Politics
WASHINGTON—Threatening to continue issuing threats if the Islamic Republic did not quickly agree to his demands, President Donald Trump warned Iran on Monday to...
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Pros And Cons Of U.S. Withdrawing From NATO

Politics
President Trump has threatened to pull out of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, calling the military alliance a “paper tiger.” The Onion examines the...
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Trump Paves Over White House Easter Egg Hunt

Politics
The post Trump Paves Over White House Easter Egg Hunt appeared first on The Onion.
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Pam Bondi Brought In For Exit Lobotomy

Politics
The post Pam Bondi Brought In For Exit Lobotomy appeared first on The Onion.
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Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’

Politics
The post Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’ appeared first on The Onion.
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Even Trump Unsure How Rambling Speech On Iran Veered Off Into Ranking The ‘Pirates...

Politics
WASHINGTON—As he struggled to remember how his remarks on sending more troops to the Middle East had digressed into a tangent on the blockbuster...
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Kristi Noem Defends Use Of Force On Own Face

Politics
WASHINGTON—Saying the expansive response was entirely justified based on the dire state of her physical appearance, outgoing Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem defended the...
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From home to planet: The Earth Day push for cleaner, safer living

Earth Day is right around the corner, and Know Your Value is partnering with the Environmental Working Group for an event to know your environment and...

Trump’s approval rating hits new low amid war and high gas prices

A new poll shows President Donald Trump’s approval rating has sunk to a new low, driven by Americans’ concerns over rising costs, particularly at...

8 children fatally shot in Louisiana domestic violence incident: Police

8 children were fatally shot in what police say was a domestic violence incident, while others were injured.