Two-month-old hospitalized with severe injuries, father charged
24-year-old Darrell Crutchfield is charged with felony child abuse after his two-month-old son arrived at the hospital with multiple broken ribs, bruising, and a...
Judge rejects plea deal for former death row inmate Richard Glossip
OKLAHOMA CITY (KFOR) — Former death row inmate Richard Glossip's request for a judge to uphold a plea agreement with the Attorney General has...
Right place, right time: Educator saves student from choking
A Putnam City Schools student is alive and breathing, thanks to the quick actions of an educator at Will Rogers Elementary.
Southwest Airlines announces new limit on portable chargers
Southwest Airlines has updated its policy in order to help “contain and mitigate” in-flight incidents.
Pros And Cons Of Phone-Free Concerts
More artists are banning phones at their shows. The Onion examines the pros and cons of phone-free concerts.
PRO
Phone finally gets some alone time
Get to...
Nation’s Women: ‘We’re Pregnant!’
WASHINGTON—In a surprising collective announcement that left the American public hugging and crying tears of joy, the nation’s women declared Wednesday that they were...
State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands
WASHINGTON—In an effort to call attention to a potentially life-threatening hazard, the State Department issued a travel warning Thursday for all women considering taking...
NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers
Following their historic moon flyby, the Artemis II crew will return to Earth on Friday. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures...
Arby’s Reclassifies Their Food As Entertainment
ATLANTA—In a move widely interpreted as an effort to exempt its offerings from health and safety standards, American chain restaurant Arby’s issued a statement...
Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy
DOVER, WI—In an incident local residents have described as more-or-less tolerable, authorities announced Friday that only two were dead in what many were calling...
Latest article
We owe Lena Dunham an apology
Lena Dunham is back. And many of us owe her an apology.
The polarizing 39-year-old filmmaker and author has a new memoir, “Famesick,” and has...
8 children dead after a mass shooting in Louisiana, police say
Authorities say eight children were killed in a "domestic disturbance."
Most of the nation’s top names are the same since the 1700s – except...
Think you've got a classic last name? A small handful of surnames have dominated in the U.S. since 1790. But recent history tells a...
