Tech companies have begun offering personal AI agents, which can access users’ accounts and perform tasks on their behalf. The Onion examines the pros and cons of these autonomous digital assistants.
PRO
Fun to torment a digital slave
Never liked taste of water in first place
More time to spend with your AI girlfriend
Helps you pull ahead of slow adopters in worldwide competition to live life most effectively
CON
Just spent all that time learning how to interface with humans
Doesn’t cry when you yell at it
Don’t get to open Wayfair’s emails yourself
Still requires modicum of human effort
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