WASHINGTON—Calling the act a forward-looking attempt to preserve the nation’s most precious natural treasures for the president’s descendants, the Department of the Interior announced Monday that it would set aside a 2.3-million-acre stretch of American land for future Trumps to enjoy. “We’re proud to safeguard these beautiful forests, beaches, and mountaintops to ensure they can be appreciated to their fullest not just by Trump’s children, but by his children’s children,” said Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, who stressed that keeping the acreage pristine would allow many generations of Trump’s progeny to build golf courses, hotels, and hunting lodges in some of America’s most stunning locales. “For years, Trumps have been increasingly siloed into D.C., New York, and Florida. Our hope is this will give them far more space to develop properties in the decades and, indeed, centuries to come.” Interior Department officials confirmed they would take whatever measures were necessary to remove 340 million invasive Americans from the newly established Trump preserve.
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