Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives star Taylor Frankie Paul is under fire after a video that shows her assaulting an ex-boyfriend went viral. The Onion sat down with Paul to discuss ABC’s decision to pull her season of The Bachelorette.

The Onion : Would you like to have a seat before we get started?

Paul: I legally cannot come within 50 feet of any chair, stool, or chaise lounge.

Is this the lowest point of your life?

Assuming no one finds the other videos, yes.

Will MomTok survive this?

You cannot kill what is not truly alive.

Has the controversy cost you any other work?

Yeah, I don’t think I’m in the running for James Bond anymore.

What’s your biggest turn-on?

When a guy offers to pay my bail.

In the wake of the video, do you have any regrets?

Not using a ring light.

What’s next for you?

Working with Colleen Hoover to turn my life story into a rom-com.

The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Taylor Frankie Paul appeared first on The Onion.