TOPEKA, KS—In a shocking announcement that instantly brought all dinner conversation to a screeching halt, local father Jesse Pflughaupt reportedly stunned his family Monday evening by proclaiming that he believes in werewolves. “You can find werewolves in pretty much every country on Earth, and the scary thing is they look just like you and me,” said Pflughaupt casually in between bites of pulled pork and cornbread, adding that the half-men, half-beasts “didn’t just exist in books and movies” while his wife and children stared at him in complete silence. “Obviously, the crazy CGI werewolves you see on TV are nothing like they are in real life. But they do die if you shoot them with silver bullets. Also, I think I met one once. Anyways, what was I saying about the reverse sear method?” According to sources, Pflughaupt then pulled up a 10-minute YouTube video on his phone titled “Werewolves: The TRUTH Exposed” and played it at full volume for his entire family to see.
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