Study Finds Neanderthals Performed Dentistry
A 59,000-year-old neanderthal tooth unearthed from a cave in modern-day Russia revealed the earliest known evidence of dentistry, with it appearing as though someone...
Tips For Supporting Public Media
The Trump administration has targeted NPR, PBS, and their affiliates. The Onion shares tips for supporting public media.
Contact your senator with thoughts on the...
Trump: Americans’ Economic Pain Not A Consideration In Iran Negotiations
President Trump, when asked whether the economic hardships felt by Americans would motivate him to reach a deal with Iran, claimed “not even a...
Trump Unwittingly Breaks Chinese Taboo Against Napping Facedown In Soup Bowl
The post Trump Unwittingly Breaks Chinese Taboo Against Napping Facedown In Soup Bowl appeared first on The Onion.
What To Know About ‘Off Campus’
Off Campus, a TV adaptation of the bestselling hockey romance book series, is now streaming. The Onion shares everything you need to know about...
‘Sports Illustrated’ Removes Distracting Models From Swimsuit Edition
NEW YORK—In an effort to focus on the incredible array of bathing suits featured in its pages, Sports Illustrated announced Wednesday that it would...
U.S. Revokes Passports Of Parents Who Owe Child Support
The State Department has begun revoking passports of parents who owe a significant amount in unpaid child support, beginning with those owing $100,000 or...
Passengers From Hantavirus-Stricken Cruise Ship Return Home
Passengers aboard the cruise ship at the epicenter of a deadly hantavirus outbreak have returned to their home countries, where they will be quarantined...
Stagehand Rushes Out To Bring Bruno Mars Different Pelvis For Slow Song
The post Stagehand Rushes Out To Bring Bruno Mars Different Pelvis For Slow Song appeared first on The Onion.
Latest article
Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the...
Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity
BOONE, NC—Noting that the troubling signs of a toxic dynamic had become too numerous to ignore, area woman Kara Vasques expressed concern Wednesday that...
Elon Musk Hits Up Text Thread To See If Any Of His 13 Kids...
STARBASE, TX—Firing off dozens of messages in less than a minute at 2:30 a.m., Elon Musk reportedly hit up a text thread Wednesday to...
