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Vol 61: Issue 18

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    Trump Revokes PBS Funding After Antique Grandfather Clock Receives Meager Appraisal

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    WASHINGTON—Signing the executive order just minutes after storming off the set, President Donald Trump revoked federal funding for PBS this week after his grandfather...
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    Jordon Hudson Inducted Into NFL Hall Of Fame

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    The post Jordon Hudson Inducted Into NFL Hall Of Fame appeared first on The Onion.
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    Stephen Miller Dead Behind Eyes At 39

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    The post Stephen Miller Dead Behind Eyes At 39 appeared first on The Onion.
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    Man Gets Best Ideas In Splash Zone

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    ORLANDO, FL—Claiming epiphanies just seem to come to him when he sits by an orca tank, local man Troy Morales told reporters Friday that...
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    Chobani CEO Warns New Hire They In The Yogurt Game Now

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    NEW BERLIN, NY—Taking the rookie employee aside to offer him “a word to the wise,” Chobani CEO Hamdi Ulukaya warned new hire Austin Cook...
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    What To Know About ‘Sinners’

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    Sinners, the new movie from Ryan Coogler starring Michael B. Jordan, has received widespread praise from critics and audiences. The Onion shares everything you...
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    RFK Jr. Encourages Americans To Do Their Own Research About Dragons

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    WASHINGTON—Claiming the fantastical creatures were “way too cool” to leave their investigation to a handful of so-called experts, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert...
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    Trump Argues Toy Shortages Easily Overcome By Making Servants Dance

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    WASHINGTON—Acknowledging that his tariff hikes could result in a frozen supply chain this holiday season, President Donald Trump claimed Friday that any toy shortages...
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    Runaway Kangaroo Shuts Down Alabama Highway

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    A runaway kangaroo named Sheila managed to shut down a stretch of interstate in Alabama before state troopers and the animal’s owner were able...
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    Trump: Russia Must Be Allowed To Keep Fighting As Part Of Any Ceasefire Deal

    Vol 61: Issue 18
    WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly frustrated by the protracted diplomatic talks, President Donald Trump asserted Thursday that Russia must be allowed to keep fighting as part of...
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    Latest article

    Police responding to shooting in Midwest City

    MIDWEST CITY, Okla. (KFOR) — Police are responding to a shooting Friday night where at least one person was injured in Midwest City. Officials say...

    President Trump set to give commencement address to West Point graduates

    President Donald Trump is delivering his first military commencement address since returning to office

    Kyiv comes under large-scale Russian drone and missile attack

    Ukraine’s capital has came under a large-scale combined drone and missile attack with explosions and machine gun fire heard throughout the city

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